笑话是一种颇受人们喜爱的民间叙事类型,材料丰富,有广泛的现实基础。小编精心收集了十个简短的英语小笑话,供大家欣赏学习!

十个简短的英语小笑话篇1

The Right LegProctor(exceedingly angry): “So you confess that this unfortunate freshmanwas kicked to this frog pond and drenched?Now what part did you take in this disgracefulaffair?”

Soph. (meekly):”The right leg, sir.”

学监(非常生气):“现在你承认这可怜的新生被踢进这蛙池里,浑身湿透?那么你在这不光彩的事情里扮演了什么角色呢?”

二年级学生(恭顺地):“右腿,先生。”

十个简短的英语小笑话篇2

The master, to impress on his pupils the need of thinking before speaking, told them tocount fifty before saying anything important, and one hundred if it was very important. Thenext day he was speaking, standing with his back to the fire, when he noticed several lipsmoving rapidly. Suddenly the whole class shouted: Ninety-eight, ninety-nine, a hundred. Yourcoat is on fire, sir!

老师为了让学生记住先思考后发言,告诉他们在说出重要事情之前先数到50,如果是特别重要的事情,要先数到100。 第二天,当老师背靠着火炉讲课时,发现好几个学生的嘴唇在很快地不停地动。突然,全班学生一起喊道:“九十八,九十九,一百。老师,您的大衣着火了!”

十个简短的英语小笑话篇3

I Could Do It Slower

我可以干得慢一些

Patient: What do you charge for pulling a tooth?

病人:拔一颗牙收费多少?

Dentist: Fifty dollars.

牙医:50美元。

Patient: Fifty dollars for a couple of minutes’ work?

病人:只几分钟的活儿就要50美元?

Dentist: Well, I could do it slower, if you like.

牙医:好的,如果你喜欢的话,我可以干得慢一些。

十个简短的英语小笑话篇4

Lifetime Warranty

终身保修

After burying his mother nine months earlier, a client of the local mortuary finally hadenough money to purchase the expensive coffin hed originally wanted. So we exhumed thebody and transferred his deceased mother into the new steel casket. “Whats so special aboutthis coffin?” I asked the funeral director. He replied, It has a lifetime warranty.

在将母亲下葬9个月后,当地殡仪馆的一个客户终于攒够了钱去买那副他早就相中的价值不菲的棺材了。他把母亲的棺材挖了出来,将尸体转移到了那副新的钢制棺材中。“这副棺材有什么特别?”我问葬礼的承办人。他回答说,“这种棺材终生保修。

十个简短的英语小笑话篇5

I Want Her to go Nuts

我要让她发疯

Mrs. Flinders decided to have her portrait painted. She told the artist, Paint me with diamondearrings, a diamond necklace, emerald bracelets and a ruby pendant.

福林德斯夫人决定让人给她画肖像。她告诉那位肖像画家说:“画我带着钻石耳环、钻石项链、祖母绿手镯,还有红宝石垂饰。”

But you’re not wearing any of those things.

“但你现在没带这其中的任何一样饰品。”

I know, said Mrs. Flinders. It’s in case I should die before my husband. I’m sure he’d remarryright away, and I want her to go nuts looking for the jewelry.

“我知道。”福林德斯夫人说,“万一我先我丈夫死去,我肯定他会立刻再婚。我要让那个女人为寻找这些珠宝而发疯

十个简短的英语小笑话篇6

Friend for Dinner

请朋友吃饭

Honey, said the husband to his wife, I invited a friend home for supper.

“亲爱的,”丈夫对妻子说:“我邀请了一位朋友回家吃晚饭。”

What? Are you crazy? The house is a mess, I havent been shopping, all the dishes are dirty,and I dont feel like cooking a fancy meal!

“什么?你疯了吗?我们的房子乱糟糟的,我很久没有买过东西回来了,所有的碗碟都是脏的,还有,我可不想做一餐累死人的晚饭。”

I know all that.

“这些我全都知道。”

Then why did you invite a friend for supper?

“那你为什么还要邀请朋友回来吃晚饭?”

Because the poor fools thinking about getting married.

“因为那个可怜的笨蛋正考虑要结婚呢。”

十个简短的英语小笑话篇7

The Fourth Element

第四元素

Teacher: What are the four element of nature?

老师:自然界的四大元素是什么?

Student: Fire, air, earth, and… and …

学生:火、气、和。。。和。。。

Teacher: And what? Just think it over, what do you wash your hands with?

老师:和什么?想一想, 你用什么洗手的?

Student: Soap!

学生:肥皂。

十个简短的英语小笑话篇8

Boxing and Running

拳击和赛跑

Dan is teaching his son how to box. As he does so, he left his friend, “This is a tough world, soI’m teaching my boy to fight.”

丹在教他的儿子怎样拳击。他告诉他的朋友:“这是一个粗暴的世界,所以我要教我的儿子怎么去拼搏。”

Friend: “But suppose he comes up against someone much bigger than he is, who’s also beentaught how to box.”

朋友:“如果他碰上的对手是一个比他高大,健壮而且也会拳击的人怎么办?”

Dan: “I’m teaching him how to run, too.”

丹:“我也会教他怎么样赛跑呢。”

十个简短的英语小笑话篇9

Make your fortune

计划你的将来

“How did you make your fortune?”

“你是怎么计划你的将来的?”

“I became the partner of a rich man.He had the money and I had the experience.”

“我变成一个富人的合伙人,他有钱,我有经验。”

“How did that help?”

“那有什么用?”

“Now he has the experience and I the money.”

现在他有经验了,我有钱。”

十个简短的英语小笑话篇10

The Looney Bin

疯人院

Late one night at the insane asylum (疯人院)one inmate shouted, “I am Napoleon!”Anotherone said, “How do you know?” The first inmate said, “God told me!” Just then, a voice fromanother room shouted, “I did not!”

一天晚上,在疯人院里,一个病人说:“我是拿破仑!”另一个说:“你怎么知道?”第一个人说:“上帝对我说的!”一会儿,一个声音从另一个房间传来:“我没说!”

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